I Love Lucy Quotes!

LUCY : Gee, did you hear that, honey? It's going to be called "Bitter Grapes." I wonder what part they want me for.
FRED : Oh, you're probably going to be one of the bunch.

LUCY : That must be my dear friend Ethel. Oh, I'll open the door, Fred.
FRED :Open it?! I was going to lock it!

FRED : Two other people wanted to buy this car.
LUCY : Where were they from...the Smithsonian Institute?

LUCY : There are just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.
FRED : Your feet?

RICKY : Maybe she has a sixth sense.
FRED : She might. She never had any before.

RICKY : And that's an Ultimatum!
LUCY : An ultimatum?!
ETHEL : Well, I'm not surprised.
LUCY : I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it.

RICKY : To my darlin' another Marlon. Well I guess Brando and I do have a lot in common.
FRED : Yeah, I can't understand either of you when you talk.

RICKY : I hate to admit this, but I miss Lucy.
ETHEL : I can top that....I miss Ethel!

ETHEL : Really, honey, were you afraid you'd loose me?
FRED : I'll say. That outfit you're wearing is rented.

RICKY : We'll cook dinner for the girls. Fred, do you know anything about rice?
FRED : Yeah, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life.

FRED : Those are old Civil War handcuffs.
RICKY : Civil War?!
ETHEL : Have you been saving them ever since them?

FRED : Now, don't make fun of us doughboys.
ETHEL : Doughboys?!
LUCY : Whoever put the dough in that boy used too much yeast.

FRED : What's the matter with ten dollars?
ETHEL : What's the matter with twenty dollars?
RICKY : Well, what's the matter with thirty dollars?
LUCY : What's the matter with fifty dollars?
FRED : What was the matter with ten dollars?

LUCY : I have a plan.
ETHEL : I'm still recuperating from your last plan.

RICKY : Look, Fred, I may speak with an accent, but I don't listen with one!

RICKY : Look, all I know is that Columbus discovered Ohio in 1776.

RICKY : Honey, you can't go running around Paris all by yourself.
LUCY : Why not?
RICKY : What about your French?
LUCY : What about my French?!
RICKY : Well, Paris is a big city, and not knowing the language, you're liable to get in a lot of trouble.
LUCY : Well, when you first came to the U.S., you didn't get into a lot of trouble because you didn't know the language, did you?
RICKY : I'm married aren't I? She told me that "I Do" meant "Pleased to meet you," and then she introduced me to the preacher.

RICKY : What's wrong with you?
LUCY : I gave Arthur a dancing lesson.
RICKY : Arthur? Arthur who?
LUCY : Well, believe me, it wasn't Arthur Murray

LUCY : He's baba'd his last lu!

RICKY : Look honey, Italy has enough problems already. I don't want to have to worry about you lousing up the entire grape industry.
LUCY : Oh, all I want to do it soak up a little local color, so I'll know what I'm acting about. What could possibly happen to me?
RICKY : Well, I could answer that but we're only going to be here ten days.

LUCY : I don't think it's very nice of you making fun of my Spanish.
RICKY : Well, you've been making fun of my English for fifteen years.
LUCY : That's different. Spanish is a foreign language.
RICKY : English is a foreign language to me.
LUCY : Well, the way you speak it, it is to me too.

LUCY : Hello Friends, I'm your Vitameatavegemin girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you poop out at party's? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle, Vitameatavegemin. Vitameatavegemin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables and minerals. Yes, with Vitameatavegemin you can spoon your way to health. All you do it take a spoonful after every meal. It's so tasty too. It's just like candy. So why don't you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegemin tomorrow. That's Vita-Meata-Vegemin

LUCY : Well, I'm your Vitivigvegivat Girl. Are you tired, run down, listless? Do you pop out at party's? Are you unpoopular? Well, are you? The answer to all your problems is in this little 'ol bottle, Vitameatavegemin. That's it. Vitameatavegemin contains vitamins, meat, megetables and vinerals. So why don't you join that thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitaveatyvemeanyminimoe. I'll tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoon full after every meal. It's so tasty too. It's just like candy. So everybody get a bottle of this stuff.

LUCY : Now I know why they call them tellers. They go around blabbing everything they know.

LUCY : Ever since we said "I Do" there are so many things we don't.

LUCY : I may not be able to understand what you say when you say it, but before you say it, I can understand what you're going to say perfectly.

LUCY : Oh, just show her money and she'll do anything. She is the greediest, the penny-pinchingest, the....Caroline darling, how are you, Dear?

LUCY : I know there's nothing to it, but I want to know what it is there's nothing to.

LUCY : Budget my time? You mean, like I budget my money?
RICKY : Heaven forbid!

LUCY : So I gave Arthur a dancing lesson to get Peggy off your neck.
RICKY : What are you whispering for?
LUCY : If my feet ever find out it was my idea, they'll kill me.

LUCY : It's your fault for getting all tangles up in my line.
RICKY : It's my fault for getting tangled up with you fifteen years ago.

LUCY : Ricky? Fred? We're revolting.
RICKY : No more than usual.

LUCY : Now honey, remember when we were married you wanted to be joined together in matrimony.
RICKY : And as I recall it was 'til death do us part.
LUCY : Yeah, that's right.
RICKY : That event is about to take place right now!

LUCY : Now, what would you do if the first time I met you, I insulted you, spilled stuff all over you and acted like a first class nincompoop.
RICKY : Just what I did, wait for my suit to come back from the cleaners, then marry you.

LUCY : Bake?! Like I bake a cake?
RICKY : I hope not.

RICKY : There you go again; wanting something that you haven't got.
LUCY : I do not. I just want to see what it is that I haven't got that I don't want.

RICKY : How do spell s'perience?
LUCY : E-x-p
RICKY : E-x? You're kidding!

ETHEL : If I let my hair go like that you'd never let me hear the end of it.
FRED : Honeybunch, if the rest of you looked like that I wouldn't care if you were bald.

ETHEL : Common sense has nothing to do with it -- when I say he's wrong, he's wrong!

ETHEL : If I had known THIS is what friends were for, I'd have signed up as an enemy!

ETHEL : Oh, thirteen more hours in this sardine can.
LUCY : The sardines were better off, they got all that oil to wiggle around in.

LUCY : Wait a minute, if they weren't asleep, they were awake!
ETHEL : Well, that's a monumental conclusion.

ETHEL : Are you sure he'll do it?
LUCY : Listen, Ethel, next to sugar, Cuba's biggest export is ham.

ETHEL : What does your letter say?
LUCY : "Dear Lucy, how are you and Mickey? I couldn't find your address, so I am sending this to Ethel Mertz. If you get it, please let me know as I have made a copy of it." Well, that's thinking. "The copy is enclosed. As a matter of fact, if you have read this far, you must have received this letter, so tear up the copy and thank Ethel for me."

ETHEL : There's lots of things you're good at.
LUCY : Like what?
ETHEL : Well, you're awfully good at...uh... You've always been great at...
LUCY : Those are the same ones Ricky came up with.

LUCY : I didn't tell a soul, and they all promised to keep it a secret.

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